“Life throws us “stuff”, at the most inconvenient times, at a time we find that we cannot go on.  What more can I handle?  What else is going to happen that WILL put me over the edge?  “I don’t have the will, courage, strength to continue”, says my loved one.  Coming from a place where you are at, at this very minute in your life, I know that you see yourself worthless, as if you have nothing to offer anyone.  So the last thing you feel like hearing is how many lives you have changed, how much you’re really worth, how strong you really are, how intelligent you are.  You must learn to put yourself FIRST because if you are no good to yourself , you are no good to anyone and I mean anyone!!!!!  Please feel no shame for being ill, you are not any weaker or any stronger than any other average person that does not suffer from a mental illness.  Remember this is not a choice you have made in your life.  Now people will do one of three things……#1 Be there and give you the unconditional love and support you need, with no judgement or time line … #2 Try to understand & Just not get it, so they decide to walk away and decide they cannot help you … #3 Walk away completely.   So prepare yourself for one of the three and it will be one less pain you have to encounter through this obstacle, called life.  Please believe in your heart that things will get better one day at a time.  Please have faith!!!!  Please don’t harm yourself, I’ve been down that road before and all I think about is what it would have done to my loved ones and the effect it would have had on them.  At the time, those thoughts were nowhere near my mind, but today I don’t think there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about it.  Let the people who understand help you get to a better place, believe that you are NOT a bother.  Believe in love, believe in yourself, believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  You didn’t get this way overnight, and you’re not going to get better overnight.  You are worth others loving you.  When will you get to a better place?  Only time and patience will tell.  There is no time line, no answers for that other than patience.”



  • Anonymous

    I wish I wasn’t one of those people that feels better and then thinks I can stop taking my meds. I guess thats why I am at square one again trying to deal with my emotions on a daily basis…trying other unhealthy methods on how to control my crazy thoughts my sleepless nights…Maybe I will get to the point where I can afford to seek therapy and learn that this isn’t my fault…that I truly am not well…crazy enough but 1, 2, 3 has already happened…now I am here to appreciate the loved ones that do understand. But, I also hold back a lot because I am so scared to loose the ones that have stuck through this with me..I think right now the thoughts of leaving this world have gone away for right now. But everyday more and more as much as i hate it..I am learning to put myself first…learning to accept my fate…Sometimes i just wish with all of me that I could be normal and not this person that internalizes everything…this person that wears her heart on her sleeve..I wish I could be made of steel or be invisible …which being invisible has been making me feel better…I hate that I do this so much…but at the same time it hurts just to exist without the ones that you exist for…Sometimes i think this is all caused by being broken so many times that I just can’t be fixed..i can’t be put back together…i try to have faith..i pray night after night..morning after morning to get me through that day…I have to take it day by day sometimes even hour by hour i have been finding myself praying at work not to cry..not to break…its working it is…but as every mother should understand this..I am not whole without my everythings…and I know they aren’t either..everyone can say they are fine but I know…what I am doing to them by not being there..i know..and living with this makes me so weak…so worthless…Its a never ending fight that I fight within myself day in and day out and God (my God) only knows how much I suffer and how much I regret for being the person I am…for not changing for the better..falling on my ass time after time…doing the same thing and expecting different results…and yes we all know what that mean….INSANITY…learned it in therapy…and how is it..that i keep doing this?

    September 6, 2010 at 9:31 pm
  • Anonymous

    How is it that you keep doing this? It is because all you have known your entire life… the one most important person that was suppose to teach you right from wrong gave up way before they were suppose to. However it is never to late. we are blessed with new days everyday. Keep your head up, don’t expect change over night, it didn’t happen over night. Allow yourself to REALLY start noticing your mistakes and learning from them. YOU ARE STRONG and you CAN do this.

    September 8, 2010 at 8:49 am

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