How i saved my Life
I remember having a number of breakdowns fairly close to each other. Each time getting more painful. I told my friend I couldn’t do it anymore. All I wanted was to be left alone. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt such an overwhelming emotion and at the same time massively detached. I told him something has to happen for I don’t know what will be of me.
So we looked for a hospitals close to home. The hospital’s website showed the link Health Services – Behavioral Health Services
and listed below
- About the Behavioral Health Center
- Child Adolescent Services
- Inpatient Psychiatric Programs
- Inpatient Substance Abuse Services
- Outpatient Psychiatric Programs
- Outpatient Substance Abuse Services
I clicked on Inpatient Psychiatric Programs and called the phone number listed on the page.
I talked … and didn’t hold back. They made an appointment for me to have an in-person assessment the next morning. I sat with a person alone for 2 hours us talking. Explained as much as I could about the changes. She decided to not admit me as in-patient. Instead, asked me to return the next morning to begin an outpatient program. 4 hours a day, 3 times a week, for the next 3 months. So 12 hours a week of group therapy in what they call a partial hospitalization program. She told me I was experiencing Major Depression.
She was aware of my suicidal ideations but asked if I was ready to act. I said I’m afraid of getting to that point, but have yet to reach it.
She said we would only admit me if she felt I was unstable and want to act.
I was ready to be admitted. I wanted to be. I no longer wanted to cause pain to those around me. I felt like I needed to be “put down.” But the outcome was different.
So I began group therapy. I met an array of people, with an array of disorders. Some in the same fight as I, some with a very different battle. But we all related and understood the pain and suffering involved inside of each of us.
I later learned that a % in my group had recently stayed a few days in inpatient, some of whom survived a suicide attempt.
It’s a gamble the way the system works. Lucky for me, it worked.
I share my story to give you a tool I found. It is on SAMHSA’s website (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
Look for the Mental Health Services Locator
Your search by zip code, choose radius 50.
It is specific. So search for:
Look at each separate.
There are a number of other options such as Residential or a combination there of.
Reach out. Look for help.