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Controlling

Low Self-Esteem, Controlling & in Denial

I felt a sense of relief to understand the numerous poor decisions made in my past relationships.  At the same time I felt anger and disbelief that this is who I've been for the majority of my life.  How did I get here?  Why am I like this? I'm still trying to figure it out, but at the end of the day all that matters is what is now, and how can I change it. As I learned more, I related more.  The CoDa patterns hit such a cord within me. "Denial Patterns:  I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.  I minimize, alter, deny how I truly feel.  I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others" DENIAL...

I felt a sense of relief to un...

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HOW TO LET GO

Let Go

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else. To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another. To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself. To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about. To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive. To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging...

To "let go" does not mean to s...

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AM I CO-DEPENDENT

Am I Co-Dependent?

I attended a Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDa) group hoping to better understand what it is to be Co-Dependent. Their pamphlet titled, "Am I Co-Dependent" helps you understand the cause rather than providing a definition. They recognize the long-standing destructive patterns of living that lay behind co-dependency. 1.  Denial - "I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicate to the well-being of others" 2. Low Self-Esteem - "I do not perceive myself as lovable or worthwhile human being" 3. Compliance - "I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or other's anger" 4. Control - "I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves" CoDA is a Fellowship of those who have difficulty in maintaining healthy, functional relationships with others. They have 12 steps to...

I attended a Co-Dependents Ano...

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