“What brings on the anxiety?  I ask myself.  Is it situational?  Does it need to be situational?  My heart literally aches because the pounding is so intense.  My head feels as though it is going to explode.  The shortness of breath, the feeling that I’m going to die… This is it, I say to myself.  I can’t do it.  I begin to vomit from the intensity.  I try to lay in bed to make it stop.  I can’t.  I walk around the house waiting and waiting.  It feels like eternity.  I try talking myself out of it, why isn’t that working?  When is it going to stop?  Can I wait?  The shaking starts, I can’t get in touch with myself or my safety network, where is everyone?  I need to talk to someone.  Help! I scream in my head, make it go away.  Finally, I take the medication.  When is it going to start to kick in?  It couldn’t possibly be fast enough.  I get a call from one of my “safe people”.  Everything seems to be calming down except for the uncontrollable crying.  Sometimes it can take a little while, but you can get through it.  It has now been a couple of days and I finally feel the weight being lifted, being able to catch my breath. “


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