Am I Co-Dependent?
I attended a Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDa) group hoping to better understand what it is to be Co-Dependent.
Their pamphlet titled, “Am I Co-Dependent” helps you understand the cause rather than providing a definition.
They recognize the long-standing destructive patterns of living that lay behind co-dependency.
1. Denial – “I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicate to the well-being of others”
2. Low Self-Esteem – “I do not perceive myself as lovable or worthwhile human being”
3. Compliance – “I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or other’s anger”
4. Control – “I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves”
CoDA is a Fellowship of those who have difficulty in maintaining healthy, functional relationships with others.
They have 12 steps to recovery just as other Fellowships adopt and create to their own cause.
CoDa’s Twelve Promises
- I know a new sense of belonging
- I am no longer controlled by my fears
- I know a new freedom
- I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present
- I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others
- I learn to see myself as equal to others
- I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships
- I learn that it is possible for me to mend – to become more loving, intimate, and supportive
- I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation
- I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth
- I trust the guidance I receive from my “Higher Power” and come to believe in my own capabilities
- I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.
This is a light summary, the patterns and promises are described in more detail in their pamphlet.
Visit Co-Dependent’s Anonymous (CoDa) www.coda.org for more information.